23 May 2015
1.) My Professor is my Friend.
Your professor is NOT your friend. Be careful what you say. Sure, speaking casually with a professor outside of class is nice, and you get to gain all types of communication points for that. Kudos to you. However, remember that this person is NOT your friend. This person is your professor. Discern between the two now and add a modicum of distance. Still speak candidly if that is how you two communicate among each other, however make sure to censor yourself. It is easy for you to say something which sounds completely fine to you, but that your professor may take out of context, thinking it is a gratuitous remark. Trust me, you do not want to have to deal with the damage control and possible fallout later.
Of course, there are always exceptions to this, such as if you were friends outside of college before you started attending that college, or something similar to that. Keep in mind, that even if you were friends outside of school, what you say could still affect your grade outcome and future recommendations, so until you’ve been given that final grade it is probably best to still censor what you say.
2.) Campus Friends vs. Off-Campus Friends
If you enjoy talking to certain person on campus but do not make plans to hang out off-campus, then you probably only have a campus friend.
If you enjoy talking to a certain person and make plans to hang out off-campus and actually do it, then you probably have someone to call a friend.
If you make plans to hang out off-campus, but it never occurs and you guys don’t even really talk much on campus, then you guys probably are NOT friends and you may as well delete them from your Facebook, because what is the point of holding onto people that you aren’t compatible with anyway?
3.) But, He/She is Really Friendly
Ok, look. Here’s the deal. This could go different ways:
If you are hanging out with a person a lot and you feel comfortable with this person, then you are probably friends.
If you are hanging out with this person, and thoughts about how “cute” or “hot” this person is, then you probably are not really friends and you are mostly just crushing on this person. If you are like that person, then get yourself out of the friend-zone ASAP because it’s just going to be a cruel circus otherwise.
If you are hanging out with this person, and this person seems to act a little strange around you, like as though they have feelings for you, then they probably do. Trust your instinct. If you like that person, then just let that person know. If you have no feelings for that person, then tell that person ASAP because its only going to grow awkward in the end, and trust me, you don’t need drama when you’re in college…unless its a course you signed up for.
4.) This Person is Really Touchy-Feely, is this an American Thing?
Ok. So, this is really important, especially for any of you International Students reading this. The need to tell this came after a horrible story a couple of my friends from overseas were telling me the other day.
THIS IS NOT AN AMERICAN THING. If a guy, or girl, is touching you or feeling you up, and you are uncomfortable with it, tell them to STOP immediately and leave. Depending on how they touched you, you may even need to contact security and/or file a complaint. Tell somebody. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Sad thing is, that some sleazy Americans see International Students as easy prey and will try to get away with what they can. It’s called “Sexual Harassment” or “Sexual Assault” and is NOT alright.
ALSO, if you think that that person is a friend with an American friend of yours, it still does NOT make it OK. Tell that person to stop, and then let your friend know what that person did.
USE YOUR WORDS when something like this happens.
Things to say (loudly and with force):
“Leave me alone.”
And if it is necessary, yell, “Help!” or “Fire!” (everyone comes to see when someone says “fire”).